August 24, 2013

Anyone still there?! My new life.

Hi friends!
Sorry for being such a bad blogger and reader lately.
Hopefully people are still reading this little blog of mine!

This is probably a super random post- but I feel the need to "unload". So here goes.

I've been back to school for 2 1/2 weeks and being back in the groove of being a working mom is really busting my behind! I'm at a new school and district and I feel like a first year teacher all over again.

It was quite an adjustment coming from a school where I knew everything, had a lay of the land, and was the one newbies came to for help to going to a school where I literally needed help finding the bathroom. Thankfully I am in the same grade level (which makes the adjustment easier) and thankfully my team is a big help. But it has been hard. Damn hard. I've cried many nights! 

I love my class.  They are a sweet bunch of kids and were quick to get our class routines and rules.  I am thankful for that!  I struggled with my schedule for a bit- trying to make it all fit was hard!  I knew that I wanted reading groups and stations as a part of my literacy block but was having a difficult time working it in with my schedule.  But I think I finally got it! :) We have different assessments and I have to take a ton of after school/weekend trainings.

I drive the van with all of the car seats, so I do drop off in the mornings and pick up in the afternoons. So I try to get to school as early as I can (which is nothing compared with my team mates) and stay as late as I can before I have to pick the kids up from daycare (which is nothing compared to my team mates). I have had such teacher/mom guilt! I have taken my nerdy-teacher-cart home full of work every night. 

Here is a little gist of our daily schedule:
5:30 am wake up and get ready
6:30 am wake up the kids and get them ready
7:00 am I take the kids to day care or my mom's house depending on the day
7:15 am drive to work
7:45 am arrive at school and prep
8:05 am duty (2 days a week)
8:20 am school starts
2:55 pm school ends
3:00 pm prep for school
4:30 pm leave school
5:00 pm pick up the kids from daycare/mom's
5:30 pm dinner
6:15 pm bathe all 3 kids/jammie time
6:45 pm feed the babies their nightly bottle
7:00 pm lay the babies down for night night
7:15 pm do books/bed time for Reagan
8:00 pm work on school work
11:00 pm go to bed

And to add one more whine to the list- the babies have been catching everything at daycare! I swear. I must have forgotten about the germs. Getting phone calls at work telling you to come pick up your child is just awesome for that already-there- mom-guilt!  Oh - and another whine- I've been period free (sorry for the TMI) for 2 years (pregnant and nursing) and boom- just got my period- so I'm currently all sorts of hormonal. Sorry.

I love my family. I love being a teacher.  I want to do both. I want to be excellent at both.  And that's the hard part.  I feel like I am such a perfectionist and want so badly to be a "super mom". I know I am not the first or the last mom in this position. I don't want a pity  party by any means. I just wanted to vent!   I am thankful for all I have.  But man, I hope things get a little easier.  Just when I think I've got it under control- boom! Life hands me another curve ball! I literally said "I'm doing it great today" as I drove to work yesterday morning. I had all 3 kids in cute matching outfits for theme day at daycare, had my lessons ready and prepped... feeling pretty good. And not even joking. I got a call that afternoon that Hudson was sick and needed to be picked up from school. See. It's always something! 

Thanks for listening! 


Kelly O'Boyle said...

First off remember "one day at a time." I know this is how I would be... But just remember you have Great support of God, family, friends and you have your adorable children to come home to every night that I'm sure make you smile, and let the day go.

robyn said...

Mandy, I know what you are feeling...I cried many nights, and my husband never had the right words to make me feel better... But I can tell you that it gets better... Promise!!!!

Mrs. Ruby said...

Yep. All of this. Can relate completely. Ugh. I finally broke last year. But, I am sure you will find your groove - big changes like this just take time! My heart completely goes out to you.

Cindi said...

Thanks so much for posting this. I am going back to work full-time in one week and sending my 3-year-old to all day preschool/daycare for the first time. I'm excited and heartbroken at the same time. It's encouraging to hear from other moms in the same situation. Love your blog! :)

Sarah @ Life, Love & Dinner said...

Thanks for sharing this. So many times you see the bright side of working moms and teachers, making it look like it's all working effortlessly. We start on Monday, the same day that I will officially be 9 months pregnant, so I will be in your shoes soon enough. I'm dreading it yet I know it's what needs to be done and that I do love my job. It's so nice to see real moms and teachers making it work but admitting there are flaws, too.

Megan Carlson said...

I am right there with you. Being Mommy and Teacher is so hard. I teach Kindergarten and have a 3-year old, as well as a 3-month old. I love my job, but this year it has been very tough. The days fly by and I feel like it is difficult to give 100% to both "jobs"! We'll get through it...

Lea said...

Oh, bless your sweet heart. I can only imagine how overwhelmed you feel, but I feel like it will get better. And, I do think that the babies will get more resistant to the "bugs" in the air and they won't catch everything that comes around.

Hubby's Office Manager had twins (and already had a 3 year old) 17 years ago and she came back to work when they were about 3 mos old and she quit immediately, came back again and quit and then finally came back when they were almost 1 and has been there ever since. She almost had a complete breakdown but things eventually came together and she has lived to tell about it.

Praying your days get easier and you rest in His peace. Hugs!

teacherof1st said...

Mandy- I feel you! It will get better. Keep telling yourself that you are an amazing mom, a great teacher and that doing it all means you are not taking care of you!
Hang in there and (((hugs)).

Rebecca said...

Oh my, I almost could write the exact same post (and have one similar started with no time to finish it!). A groove will come and the babies will build their immunity. You are doing great. Prayers that things smooth out and you are a little less frazzled.

Country Girl said...

First of all, you're not getting enough sleep to tackle all you have to do! I've only ever worked part-time and really wondered how moms worked full-time. Don't be too hard on yourself. Life's hard sometimes.

inkthoughts said...

Mandy, I think you just eloquently expressed the feelings of all of us working moms; we have all felt this way! We want the best for our kiddos, our families, and our students - and it's NOT easy to balance them all! Don't worry, you are doing great and every day will get better. If you need a pick me up, think of me feeling all sharp and put-together in my black Calvin Klein suit - until my students pointed out I had Cheerios stuck to my shoulder from "one last kiss" from my little ones! Sending you strength - and some sleep! xoxo!

Amy said...

Aww! Hang in there Mama! Praying for strength for you!

Kathryn said...

Awww, I'm sorry it's been so hard adjusting....I can't even imagine! But I'm sure you will all get into a routine soon and then you will feel less stressed. Also, I'm sure the older the babies get, the less sick they will get. I've heard it's bad at the first though. Hang in there Mama!!

Murdock's mama said...

::BIG HUGS:: It will get better. Promise. Until then I'll be praying for you.

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

I hope your schedule is getting easier. I'm sure it's a huge adjustment!

Megan said...

I teared up reading this!!!! Mom guilt is the worst!!im the same as you! I wa t to be GREAT at my job but also GREAT at being a mom/wife! Some days are so much harder then others!! So hard to find balance! Sounds like you are super organized and are doing the best you can for your family!! Lots of hugs to you!!!

Megan said...

I teared up reading this!!!! Mom guilt is the worst!!im the same as you! I wa t to be GREAT at my job but also GREAT at being a mom/wife! Some days are so much harder then others!! So hard to find balance! Sounds like you are super organized and are doing the best you can for your family!! Lots of hugs to you!!!